![]() ![]() The good king sacrificed himself to create a mystical medallion. Narrator: Thousands of years ago, a great race of shadow warriors terrorized the city of Changsa. NC (voiceover): So the film starts off with this bullshit. But oh well, maybe the idea for the movie was just so good that it could cross the boundaries of the zeitgeist and give us one hell of a timeless classic. NC (voiceover): I mean come on, by this time you could get Double Dragon in toy dispensers, it's not like this was at the height of its popularity. ![]() NC: With a game so popular, Hollywood producers QUICKLY put their minds together and came up with the idea to make a movie about it.seven years later. The game was so popular that they also made a Nintendo version, which was one of the highest grossing games for the NES. Nothing too complicated, just beating the shit out of any annoying punk who crossed your path. Double Dragon was an arcade game in the 80s that was a simple, side-scroller beat 'em up adventure. It's quite a different thing to actually experience it. IT'S THE MOST SHIT SMACKING, WHORE EATING DISGUSTING PIECE OF RETRO ASS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! No.that still doesn't seem to sum up how bad it is! But hell, anyone can talk about it. NC (voiceover): A movie so bad, that I can't even come up with a clever analogy to properly describe how bad it is. Don't believe me? Then take a look at the festering elephant puke that Hollywood seems to have entitled Double Dragon. NC: For whatever reason, they're certainly not getting any better. Even films like The Wizard that just talks about video games always seem to suck. NC (voiceover): Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Super Mario Bros. Montage of posters for other bad video game movies ![]() Folks, why is it movies based on video games always seem to suck monkey tits? I mean, think about it. ![]()
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